I walked into the kitchen this morning to see my husband standing in front of the toaster. With a bagel. And salmon-flavored cream cheese.
"I'm hungry," he said, by way of apology.
He has officially fallen off the wagon. Yesterday, he also ate more M&Ms, drank part of a can of guava juice, and finished up the leftovers from Friday night's off-the-challenge dinner. There's still food from our $38 shopping trip, but I couldn't really blame him for not wanting a breakfast of white bread, tuna salad and pinto beans.
I'm still on board-- but I'm resentful. I'm tired of eating the same few things. When I give my son and his friends a snack of Cheetos and juice, I feel jealous that I can't have any. (This is pathetic. I'm upset about not getting Cheetos?) I drive by a Starbucks and have to talk myself out of turning through the drivethrough. Watching TV, it suddenly strikes me how many of the ads are for food, expensive food, food that suddenly looks good. I don't think I've been tempted by a Taco Bell ad for years.
This seems to be harder on the weekend, lounging around the house. My usual routine is impossible. Coffee and a morning paper? We couldn't afford coffee. A diet Coke after walking the dog? Sodas were out of the question. A quick trip to get ice cream after dinner with our son? I didn't budget for that. These are little things, sure, but they add up to a feeling of deprivation. It's demoralizing.
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1 comment:
Yeah, it is demoralizing. Now you understand why when the 13th of the month (food stamps day) comes around the grocery store is packed. And as far as you can see everyone has a full buggy! With food stamps you feel deprived, which leads to spending on those high priced items. You go for two weeks on a deprivation diet and suddenly you can shop again! Go hog wild, right? Most people on food stamps don't know how to budget properly. This is why you see them buying steaks and Cheetos. A lot of times they only go to the store once a month using the card. The other times are when they have someone with them or they get help from friends or relatives. They usually buy one gallon of milk or a loaf of the cheapest bread they can find. I live with my mom, go to full time college, have a part time job, and have one daughter. I am very fortunate that my mother has retirement and SS coming in. I could not make it on my own right now. That is why I am going to college.
You are doing great! Hang in there.
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